No one likes you when you're 23?
I am so humbled and glad to get as many responses as I did on my last blog. We all know my clout isn't that big (just check my Instagram following). It was very nice to read your responses and to find that a lot of you agreed with what I had to say. So to recap this year so far, I decided to pull a Taylor Swift on Elle magazine and tell you all about the 22 things I learned at 22. The bolded text is intended for those of you who don't want to read the blog entirely. Now, I am hoping this won't be some long drawn-out boring post. I just want to give you all a taste of the level of enlightenment I am on.
1.) No response is a response. Now before you go all, "We all have lives." Hear me out. I get it. We do all have lives. Life is chaotic. However, I do believe that certain times we make times for those that matter. I have plenty of friends that regardless of where life takes us, we still find time for each other. This doesn't mean you should become demanding with your friends, but more so knowing your own self worth. Friendships are give and take.
2.) It's okay not to have it all "figured out." I say that in quotes because when do we really have life all figured out? If we did have life "figured out" then we would lose our love for it. Regardless of how much you struggle (given that you have basic necessities), then you can create your own fun within your struggle. Whatever passion you have on the side or goal you want to achieve, do it. Not all of your goals have to be career-oriented.
3.) Comparison is the root of all evil. This applies in most scenarios. If you're still figuring it out in your twenties after getting your degree, that's fine. Don't downplay your own progress or compare yourself to someone who is more successful, unless you're using their success to motivate you. It is important to congratulate others on their successes while you climb up your own ladder. When you get to where you want to be, I am sure you want people to be happy for you.
4.) Our time is limited. I do not mean to sound morbid by any means. I think after losing my grandfather, I gained a new perspective on life. Whatever you want to do, do it now. Start that blog, make that business, or make a change. As my 11th grade language arts teacher would say, "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten." I think this applies outside of the classroom in so many ways. I hope you can make that motto, yours. This brings me to number 5...
5.) Make time for your loved ones. This sounds very cliche, but just make sure to check on your loved ones. Like I said in #4, our time is limited. Hang out with your parents, your grandma or grandpa. If you don't have a "family," surround yourself with people who make you feel like you are family. Sometimes DNA just isn't enough to consider someone as family.
6.) Travel. Travel. Travel. The best investment of money you make is spent on traveling. If you have the opportunity to go somewhere that makes you uncomfortable, do it. We live so caught up in the 9-to-5 that we forget that our planet is so vast. I think you miss out on a lot by staying at home. I have learned more lessons and more culture by traveling than I have by staying in a classroom. Forget those AirPods, buy a plane ticket.
7.) Growing up sucks. Growing pains are real. Getting that dream job isn't always within reach even if you do everything perfectly in college. Do not shame someone for still living with their parents in their twenties. Trust me, some of us aren't thrilled by it. We appreciate a home cooked meal and living with roommates is not all it's cracked up to be.
8.) Believe in yourself. I always used to laugh at Disney movies for constantly preaching this message over and over. Believing in yourself can be easier said than done. Try and congratulate yourself on the progress you've made so far. The hike is fun, but always try and appreciate the view.
9.) Body positivity is one thing, but not being happy with your body is another. Yes, I love those body positive campaigns as much as the next person, but if you are not content with something, make a lifestyle change. I do not mean to stop eating or incorporating bad habits, but hit the gym or eat healthier. It'll benefit you in the long run, I promise.
10.) Being alone is okay. As an only child, I am a little biased on this one. I think it's important to learn to be alone. You become more independent and I think you have a better sense of your own identity as a person. To me, these things are important and I think it helps you deal with situations throughout your life.
11.) Learn as much as you can. I have found that throughout my life, I like to learn new things in mostly every situation. Learning opens your mind and honestly, life would be boring if we stopped learning. My favorite way of learning new things is watching documentaries. I am not much of a reader, but when I was in college, I would color code my notes on my reading to make sure I retain information. We have a saying in Spanish that goes something along the lines of, "you can't take what I learned away from me." It sounds better in Spanish, I promise.
12.) Questioning everything you know is healthy and normal. Your belief systems, values, and morals are always questionable. With 7 billion people on Earth it is impossible that all 7 billion one of us have the same belief and outlook system on life. So question everything, there is nothing wrong with that. We become close-minded when we don't question ourselves. If you have a hard time internalizing a concept, go and read someone else's take on it. I promise most people grapple with the same questions, but please don't spiral into an existential crisis.
13.) Friends come in phases. I think that when we are in a certain phase in our lives we typically attract people who are going through the same thing. Cherish these people. Learn from each other. Friends come and go, just be grateful for the ones you have by your side in this very moment.
14.) Don't sweat the small stuff. As a notorious over thinker, am I qualified to write to you about not overthinking things? No. I wish I was this person. If you are like me, you spend a lot of time worrying. I cannot remember a time when I wasn't worried, but I think that comes with the discomfort of life. All of us go through many trials and I think the biggest thing we all need to learn is not to worry so much. Relax. Put on a good record. Drink some wine and enjoy these moments because who knows? They may become the best moments of your life and maybe later on you'll have bigger fish to fry.
15.) Maturity doesn't come with age. As I have grown up, I have found forty-year-olds that are less mature than my twenty year old friends. In order to mature you have to evolve as a person. That means taking actions in your own life. Self-reflection and change are real things, but only you have the power to change your own mindset. As much as therapy is a helpful tool, what good is therapy if you don't follow through?
16.) Distancing yourself from negativity is a good thing. I am not really well informed when it comes to energies. I just know that sometimes people tend to have an outlook on life that doesn't quite align with your values. You are never required to be someones friend. There is no legally binding contract. However, you don't have to judge them for how they live their life. Just go forward with yours.
17.) Discomfort is okay. Regret is not. If there is something that makes you
uncomfortable, do it. You'll have regrets if you don't. Are any successful people known for not taking risks? No. I think taking risks is the most exciting part of life. It is equally scary. Pushing yourself as a person by tackling discomfort is an incredible thing. You learn so much more about your capabilities by doing what scares you the most.
18.) In situations of conflict, not everyone will agree with you. If you're arguing with your friends or family, they will not always view things your way unfortunately. Sometimes being the bigger person is just setting aside your differences and picking your battles. I promise that what you're arguing about now, won't matter in twenty years.
19.) Finding purpose in life isn't easy. Some of us find our purpose at 6 or some of us find it at 30. Finding purpose, much like love, has no time stamp. It can come sooner or later. I know I am passionate about writing, but how do I make it purposeful? I do not have the answer to this, but I hope I will soon.
20.) Live your life the way YOU want to. We tend to value the opinions of those around us, but sometimes we need to take the drivers seat in our own lives. Putting on your seatbelt and hitting the accelerator is sometimes hard to do, but only you can do it for yourself. Whatever road you take just make sure it's the road you want to follow through with. If you're confident in your own decisions, no opinion can really affect you.
21.) Clean your room. Just do it. I promise all change starts from within, but make sure
your "within" match the way you live. I hate cleaning my room as much as the next person, but it's a necessary evil. I truly believe your room is a clear reflection of what is going on in your mind, so keep it organized. I jam out to some pretty solid music and dance along. I have done this since I was a kid and although it is not the quickest way of accomplishing a clean room, it is the most enjoyable.
22.) You can make changes for yourself, other people cannot. The complexity of humanity is really a very interesting subject. Truth is, you have to commit to being more motivated and goal driven. Those around us do not have the power to give us more motivation. People can only project their ideas onto you. Changing your mindset is entirely on you and that is the hardest thing to do in life. We become so set in our own ways, that we forget to want more. It is okay to change your mind at 20 just like it is at 50. Just do something different if you're not happy with your own results and give everything a fair chance.
Thank you to all of those who read the blog in it's entirety. Reflecting on this year has brought me a lot more peace than I thought it would. Maybe you can do the same and write down the many things you have learned. Should you decide to do it, I will be more than happy to read what you have come up with. These can be entirely silly or insightful. The lessons you learned are uniquely you. I hope mine weren't as cliche as they sounded in my head. Anyways, keep on, keepin' on.