How the time has gone...

So it's very hard to not be completely candid with you guys on this blog. Because of the situation at hand, I have decided not to disclose absolutely everything. Mainly because I am getting a little more traffic on this blog, but also because me and you need boundaries . Yes, I said it. We need boundaries.

As I have said before, if anyone truly wanted to read the juicy details of my life I would need a book deal.

So let's go on with today's topic of choice: the future and what I have learned in college.

Wow of all people, I feel less than qualified to talk about this, but the past few weeks I have spent in absolute sheer panic. Mainly, because I always over-exert myself in the work I turn in, but also because this sad feeling of graduating hasn't completely set in. I You're probably wondering why it's sad.... The feeling of graduating is a mixture of feelings that I can say I experienced twice. One being the first time I graduated high school. It's like a relationship is coming to an end and you have to find your own identity without the other (not that I would know anything about this).

I'm happy in the sense of saying that I truly did this, but I'm also sad leaving my professors (my main source of stress), my friends and most of all; I don't exactly know what's next. We all say or we try to say that we're open to change. I really feel like these past four years have been nothing short of constant change, but I also feel as if change is sometimes the ground being taken from under your feet and you're falling into a endless hole until somehow you land in another era of your life. It's hard for us as humans to enjoy the fall because let's face it, sometimes it can be terrifying. I wouldn't consider graduating terrifying, I'd simply consider it falling and quite honestly there's no wrong path you could take. Well maybe, you could, but at least not in the present situation I'm writing to you about.

I really want to give you all some wise words of wisdom to summarize what I have learned these past four years, but that would honestly be an entire book. I've experienced the deepest feeling of sadness and completely on-top-of-the-world with joy. I've been humbled in more ways than one. My aunt once told me that her goal in life was to experience every emotion possible, even if some them are the worst ones you could ever go through. As a kid, I never truly knew what that meant. Like why would someone willingly want to be sad? I think the answer to this is that to experience the epitome of joy and dismay is living. It means you're breathing. It truly means that everything is temporary and that deep gut-wrenching feeling may not be as intense as it is in the future.

My biggest advice to you all who are still reading this blog is to be open to everything that comes at you and that's something one masters over time. It's one of life's greatest challenges, but through it all you find who you are and the person you're meant to be. Whatever it is you're going through, just know that these chapters whether happy or sad are shaping you. I want you all to embrace the fall. Sometimes we have to learn to love what we're scared of. If we're scared of constant change, the less terrifying we make it in our minds, the more we are willing to adapt to it. I guess the reason I'm not absolutely terrified of graduating is because despite one chapter in my life ending, a new one is opening. I have the pen in my hand and even though I'm not ready to write, the ink will spread on the next few pages. I am confident in the fact that within the next four years I will be where I need to be. I breathe a little easier knowing that within all of this I am never alone. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is tune out the world around us and think of ourselves.

Be selfish for once, think about where YOU want to be. When you're ready open the next chapter and don't read it, write it out. If you mess up it's okay the chapter is still beautiful because it's entirely made up of you.

I can't wait to start and share the next few chapters of my life with you all.

Let's pop some champagne and raise a toast to what we've done and what we want to do!