Reclaiming your Narrative

I probably shouldn't start this blog post right now since I have two essay questions that count as an exam grade due, but I wanted to start it right this moment in hopes that this thought wouldn't go away.

Ladies, yes I am talking to you.

I am talking to the young women in, out, in between relationships, and even ones with those tiny harmless crushes. I am talking to the ones who have jobs and who are in school. I am talking to the women who are bettering themselves constantly.

I am tired of the quote that goes as follows, "Keep your chin up, your tiara is falling." Maybe I am tired of wearing a tiara, instead I hold a pen and you should too. Grab your pen ladies, we're going in for a long ride.

I am all about equality, but I am also sick of women chasing men. If this comes across the wrong way to you, please stop reading. I believe in the fullest of my heart that all women deserve to be chased and if you're chasing, you're doing it wrong. So I tell you, put down your phone, stop checking if he's gonna respond. Him texting you back does not equal your validation. If he doesn’t text you back, his loss. Stop looking at what girls picture he's liking on Instagram. Comparison is the root of all evil. So please, stop.

When you fall in to patterns such as those listed above, you are allowing a man to grab your pen and write YOUR story. When you let that toxic ex back in or when you check your phone and miss out on the good moments. You're allowing someone else to write your story. You are meant to hold your own pen and if you believe in God, you know good and well that the Lord is guiding your words. You are too good and too beautiful to be wondering if he's going to text you back or if he's going to notice you.

You're probably wondering what high horse I am on to be writing these words. That's because I was you. I let my insecurities grab me and get the best of me. I was checking my phone. I was mad when I was left on read. I missed out on precious girl time being this girl. I am a hot-blooded and passionate Latina woman and it is time I am treated such. It is time to realize that we need to reclaim our narrative. It is time to stop letting others write our story or to drown out our own voices. I know when it comes to men, we don't do it consciously. I beg of you to lose yourself in each moment. I beg of you to invest the time you're checking your phone into something else. Go out with your friends. Read that textbook, grow your mind. If he's worth it, he'll make time for you. He will come AFTER you. He will text you or even better he will call you to hear your voice. If he's a man he will understand that you're holding the pen and he's lucky he's name is etched across your journal.

Women, we have made men comfortable in our modern era. We have allowed men to believe that we will chase them and they get comfortable. We get frustrated. We get angry. We are part of the problem. As women in our modern era, we should know better than to invest time into something that isn't giving us anything back in return.

This isn't to say I agree with gender roles. I am all for women having a career, but if we have to have children and go through the extra motions men don't, don't we deserve to be chased?

Also, please stop listening to those Taylor Swift songs. Please listen to more confidence boosting music. Stop thinking about him. Think about you. The best relationships happen when we least expect them. It's when we are not looking. I also quote my mother in this blog. My wise and all-knowing mom. Indifference is what kills a man. I'm not saying I have the answers. Show you're interested. Please, don't compromise who you are. Don't feel rejected when he doesn't text you (because people have lives), but also know no one is ever busy for the people they truly care about. I don't care what it is. If he cares, he'll make time for you. Feel empowered if it doesn't work because you know you kissed another frog that wasn't a prince.

My roommate sophomore year shared this Bible verse with me and it has been the biggest blessing in my life. I share it with you in hopes that it'll do the same.

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

The only time you should ever give a man the power help you write your story is in marriage. That is when he takes your insecurities and makes them securities. When he's fully committed to you allow him to help you. Then and only then should a man be able to grab your pen and HELP you write your story. I say help. I don't mean he gets to write it. So please ladies, realize you are queens and princesses. Please pick up your tiara, but when you do pick your pen too. Put your phone down and live. Bask in your single-hood.

I promise you, it's a blessing.